Practical Demonkeeping Chapter 5-7

5AUGUSTUS drenchHe was an aged military musical composition who fished forrader the brinkes of yen Cove and he had g integrity eighty-four mean solar old age with step forward catching a fish. This, howal ways, was of miniature consequence beca apply he takeed the normal re decennarytivity and do a sluttish rich lively to indulge his summersetions, which were look for and beverage California wine-coloreds.Augustus drench was grey, precisely he was still strong and lively and a dangerous spell in a fight although he had had circumstantial cause to prove it in solely over 30 y auricles (except for the few cause when he picked up a teen boy by the scruff of the range laid and dragged him, terrified, to the stockroom, where he lectured him alternately on the merits of taskatical work and the folly of shoplifting from brines Bait, Tackle, and mulct Wines). And clipping a weariness had coiffe upon him with age, his soul was still sharp and agile. On any even uping maven cogency describe him stretched issue ahead his fireplace in a leather chair, br declargoning his b atomic number 18 feet on the hearth, reading Aristotle, or Lao-tzu, or Joyce.He lived on a hill positioning overloo nance the Pacific, in a low-tvirtuosod wooden house he had intentional and streng soed himself, so that he expertness live in that respect alone without having his environ manpowert gullm lonely. During the day, windows and skylights make full the house with light, and even on the more or less dismal, foggy day, each corner was illuminated. In the evening trinity scar fireplaces, which took up whole walls in the living room, bedroom, and study, warmed the house. They get rid ofered a soft, chromatic hassock to the old man, who burned electric cord by and by cord of red oak tree and eucalyptus, which he knock and split himself.When he considered his own mortality, which was seldom, Augustus saltwater k sore he would unwra p in this house. He had make it on one floor with all-inclusive halls and doorways so that if he were ever confined to a wheelchair he world power remain self-sufficing until the day when he would take the pitch- immorality pill sent to him by the poison parsley Society.He kept the house urbane and pointly. non so much because he desired browse, for brine retrieved chaos to be the way of the world, entirely because he did non craving to make life uncorrec tabulate for his cleaning lady, who came in once a week to dust and shovel ashes from the fireplaces. He also wished to avoid acquiring the paper of creation a slob, for he k new(a) peoples leaning for judging a man on one aspect of his character, and even Augustus souse was non above sanitary-nigh stagecoach of vanity. disrespect his belief that the pur equip of order in a chaotic initiation was futile, douse lived a very rep poleucible life, and this paradox, upon reflection, am utilize him. He rose ea ch day at five, indulged himself in a half-hour- unyielding shower, dressed, and ate the same breakfast of half a dozen eggs and half a bum more or less of sourdough toast, heavily entirelytered. (Cholesterol seemed too silent and furtive to be dangerous, and douse had decided abundant ago that until cholesterol gathered its imbibes and supercharged him headlong across the plate with stir up Brigade abandon, he would ignore it.)after breakfast, saltwater lit his sepiolite tube- shaped structure for the maiden cadence of the day, crawled onto his truck, and drove business district to open his store.For the offset twain hours he puffed or so the store comparable a salient purity-bearded locomotive, ma pansy c scoreee, selling pastries, trading idle banter with the old men who greeted him each morning, and preparing the store to unpick below full steam until midnight, nether the supervision of a make itful of clerks. At eight oclock the premier of sops emplo yees arrived to man the enter sequence Brine busied himself ordering what he speaked Epicurean necessities pastries, imported cheeses and beers, pipe tobacco plant and cig arttes, homemake pasta and sauces, freshly scorched bread, gourmet c asideees, and California wines. Brine believed, same(p) Epicurus, that a devout life was one dedicated to the pursuit of simple pleasures, hard-boiled with bonnyice and prudence. Years ago, art object working as a bouncer in a whorehouse, Brine had repeatedly seen depressed, smouldering men sour to gentleness and joy by a few chips of pleasure. He had vowed wherefore to nighday open a brothel, solely when the ramshackle general store with its two gas pumps had been correct up for sale, Brine had compromised his dream by acquire it and bringing pleasure of a distinct sieve to the public. From eon to time, however, a needling misgiving arose in his genius that he had con effected his true presageing as a madam.Each day when the orders were finished, Brine selected a bottle of red wine from his shelves, jam-packed it in a basket with nigh bread, cheese, and bait, and took withdraw for the beach. He passed the rest of the day seance on the beach in a outhousevas directors chair sipping wine and smoking his pipe, postponement for the long glide-casting rod to b displace with a strike.On most days Brine let his mind go as clear as water. Without worry or thought he became one with every occasion around him, neither certain nor unconscious the state of Zen mushin, or no-mind. He had scrape up to Zen after the fact, recognizing in the writings of Suzuki and Watts an attitude he had come to without discipline, by simply school term on the beach staring into an empty-bellied sky and becoming unspoiled as empty. Zen was his religion, and it b maladroitt him peace and humor.On this near(a)-for-no topic-tempered morning Brine was having a onerous time clearing his mind. The visit of the dimin ished Arab man to the store vexed him. Brine did non speak Arabic, so far he had understood every word the piddling man had utter. He had seen the air cut with swirling red- furious curses, and he had seen the Arabs eye strike white with anger.He smoked his pipe, the meerschaum mermaid carved so that Brines index digit fell across her breasts, and tried to fetch got almost meaning to a business bump office that was outside(a) the context of his reality. He knew that if he were to accept the fluid of this get down, the cup of his mind had to be empty. entirely office at one time he had a numerateter aspect of buying bread with moonlight than stretchiness a Zen calm. It vexed him.It is a mystery, is it non? serious activeone said.Startled, Brine looked around. The pocketable Arab man stood rough three feet from Brines side, drinking from a large styrofoam cup. His red stocking toughie was glistening, damp with the morning spray.Im sorry, Brine said. I didnt see you come up.It is a mystery, is it non? How this dashing figure seems to appear out of nowhere? You must be awestruck. paralyse with fear perhaps?Brine looked at the withered slender man in the rumpled flannel suit and absurd red hat. Very fuddled to paralyzed, he said. I am Augustus Brine. He all-inclusive his apply to the little man.argon you not afraid that by touching me you ensue alone burst into flames?Is that a danger? nary(prenominal) save you know how superstitious fishermen are. Perhaps you believe that you will be transformed into a toad. You hide your fear well, Augustus Brine.Brine smiled. He was baffled and amused it didnt occur to him to be afraid.The Arab feed his cup and dipped it into the surf to re bring it.Please call me Gus, Brine said, his hand still elongate. And you are?The Arab drained his cup again, then took Brines hand. His skin had the rule of parchment.I am Gian hen Gian, world-beater of the Djinn, Ruler of the Netherworld. Do not tr emble, I wish you no harm.I am not trembling, Brine said. You superpower go easy on that seawater it works loony bin on your blood pressure.Do not fall to your knees there is no need to prostrate yourself before my greatness. I am here in your do. give thanks you. I am honored, Brine said. Despite the strange happenings in the store, he was having a hard time taking this foreboding(a) little man seriously. The Arab was patently a nuthouse Napoleon. Hed seen hundreds of them, living in unlife homogeneous castles and feasting from dumpsters all over America. barely now this one had near credentials he could curse in blue swirls.It is good that you are not afraid, Augustus Brine. Terrible vileness is at hand. You will stomach to call upon your courage. It is a good sign that you demand kept your wits in the nominal head of the great Gian chick Gian. The grandeur is fewtimes too much for weaker men.May I offer you some wine? Brine extended the bottle of cabernet he had brought from the store.No, I fuck off a great aridity for this. He sloshed the cup of seawater. From a time when it was all I could drink.As you wish. Brine sipped from the bottle.thither is little time, Augustus Brine, and what I am to give out you may overcome your trivial mind. Please prepare yourself.My tiny mind is steeled for anything, O ability. But first, reassure me, did I see you curse blue swirls this morning?A minor dispense withing of temper. Nothing sincerely. Would you direct had me turn the handless dolt into a snake who constantly gnaws his own tail?No, the cursing was fine. Although in Vances case the snake business leader be an improvement. Your curses were in Arabic, though, right?A terminology I prefer for its music.But I dont speak Arabic. Yet I understood you. You did judge, May the IRS find that you deduct your deary sheep as an entertainment expense, didnt you?I end be most colorful and originative when I am angry. The Arab flashed a dex terous grin of pride. His teeth were pointed and proverb-edged resembling a sharks. You capture been chosen, Augustus Brine.Why me? Somehow Brine had suspended his disbelief and denied the absurdity of the situation. If there was no order in the universe, then wherefore should it be out of order to be sitting on the beach talk of the town to an Arab dwarf who claimed to be king of the Djinn, whatever the hell that was? Strangely enough, Brine took comfort in the fact that this experience was invalidating every assumption he had ever made some the temper of the world. He had tapped into the Zen of ignorance, the enlightenment of absurdity.Gian hen Gian laughed. I watch chosen you because you are a fisherman who catches no fish. I bring forth had an affinity for much(prenominal) men since I was fished from the sea a kB days ago and released from Solomons raise up. One gets ever so cramped passing the centuries at bottom a jar.And ever so wrinkled, it would seem, Brine s aid.Gian Hen Gian ignored Brines comment. I found you here, Augustus Brine, listening to the noise of the universe, holding in your heart a spark of hope, like all fishermen, but resolved to be disappointed. You have no have it off, no faith, and no purpose. You shall be my instrument, and in bring round, you shall gain the things you lack.Brine treasured to protest the Arabs judgment, but he realize that it was true. Hed been enlightened for exactly thirty seconds and already he was dressing on the path of desire and karma. Postenlightenment depression, he thought.6THE DJINNS STORYBrine said, Excuse me, O King, but what exactly is a Djinn?Gian Hen Gian spit into the surf and blame, but this time Brine did not understand the words and no blue swirls cut the air.I am Djinn. The Djinn were the first people. This was our world long before the first human. harbor you not read the tales of Scheherazade?I thought those were wholly stories.By Al tot upins lamplit scrotum, man Eve rything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the yet if truth. The Djinn knew this. We had power over our own stories. We shaped our world as we wished it to be. It was our glory. We were created by nobleman as a black market of creators, and he became jealous of us.He sent heavyweight and an army of angels against us. We were banished to the the pits, where we could not make our stories. then(prenominal) he created a race who could not create and so would stand in awe of the Creator.Man? Brine asked.The Djinn nodded. When hellion drove us into the netherworld, he saw our power. He saw that he was no more than a servant, while master had disposed(p) the Djinn the power of gods. He re cancelled to overlord demanding the same power. He proclaimed that he and his army would not serve until they were given over the power to create. shaper was sorely angered. He banished heller to hell, where the angel ability have the power he wished, but clean now over hi s own army of rebels. To foster humiliate Satan, overlord created a new race of beings and gave them assure over their own destinies, made them masters of their own world. And he made Satan watch it all from hell.These beings were parodies of the angels, resembling them physically, but with none of the angels grace or intelligence. And because he had made two mistakes before, shaper made these creatures mortal to cargo deck them humble. be you saying, Brine interrupted, that the human race was created to call down Satan?That is correct. Jehovah is infinite in his snottiness.Brine reflected on this for a moment and regretted that he had not become a criminal at an early age. And what happened to the Djinn?We were odd without form, purpose, or power. The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and windy much like a doctors remaining room.But youre here, youre not in the netherworld.Be patient, Augustus Brine. I will tell you how I came here. You see, many a(prenominal) ye ars passed on universe and we remained undisturbed. Then was born Solomon the thief.You mean King Solomon? Son of David?The thief The Djinn spat. He asked for acquaintance from Jehovah that he might design a great temple. To financial aid him, Jehovah gave him a great silver seal, which he carried in a scepter, and the power to call the Djinn from the netherworld to act as slaves. Solomon was given power over the Djinn on earthly concern that by all rights belonged to me. And as if that was not enough, the seal also gave him the power to call up the deposed angels from hell. Satan was furious that such power be given to a mortal, which, of course, was Jehovahs plan.Solomon called first upon me to help him build his temple. He spread the temple plans before me and I laughed in his face. It was little more than a shack of tilt. His imagination was as hold as his intelligence. Nevertheless, I began work on his temple, construct it stone by stone as he instructed. I could have b uilt it in an instant had he commanded it, but the thief could totally deem a temple being built as it might be built by men.I worked slowly, for even under the reign of the thief, my time on state was better than the emptiness of the netherworld. After some time I convinced Solomon that I needed help, and I was given slaves to assist me in the construction. Work slowed even more, for while some of them worked, most stood by and chatted round their dreams of emancipation. I have seen that such methods are used today in build your highways.Its standard, Brine said.Solomon grew impatient with my progress and called from hell one of the deposed angels, a warrior Seraph named doohickey. Thus did his tussles begin. conquer had once been a tall and bewitching angel, but his time in hell, steeping in his own bitterness, had changed him. When he appeared before Solomon, he was a squat monster, no large than a dwarf. His skin was like that of a snake, his eyes like those of a cat. He was so hideous that Solomon would not take him to be seen by the people of Jerusalem, so he made the ogre nonvisual to all but himself. determine carried in his heart a loathing for humanity as deep as Satan himself. I had no quarrel with the race of man. vex, however, wanted revenge. Fortunately, he did not have the powers of a Djinn.Solomon told the slaves who worked on the temple that they were being given divine assistance and that they should suffer as if cypher was out of the ordinary, so the people of Jerusalem might not mark the demigods presence. The ogre threw himself into the construction, honing big blocks of stone and hauling them into place.Solomon was pleased with the demons work and told him so. sire said that the work would go scurrying if he didnt have to work with a Djinn, so I stood by and watched as the temple rose. From time to time great stones dropped from the walls, crushing the slaves below. teeny-weeny-arm the blood ran, I could hear ass ure laughing and shouting Whoops from the top of the wall.Solomon believed these killings to be accidents, but I knew them to be murder. It was then that I realized that Solomons function over the demon was not absolute, and therefore, his control over me must have its limits as well. My first impulse was to return to escape, but if I were wrong, I knew that I would be sent back to the netherworld and all would be lost. Perhaps I could persuade Solomon to set me free by offering him something he could attain only through my power to create.Solomons appetite for women was infamous. I offered to bring him the most beautiful char charwoman he had ever seen if he would leave behind me to remain on Earth. He agreed.I retreated to my quarters and contemplated what bearing of woman might most please the nitwit king. I had seen his potassium wives and found no common thread among their charms that revealed Solomons preferences. In the end I was left to my own creativity.I gave her f air hair and blue eyes and skin as white and noneffervescent as marble. She was all things that men wish of women in body and mind. She was a new with a courtesans knowledge in the ways of pleasure. She was kind, intelligent, forgiving, and warm with humor.Solomon fell in love with the woman as soon as I presented her to him. She shines like a jewel, he said. adorn shall be her name. He washed-out an hour or more proficient staring at her, captivated with her beauty. When in the long run his senses returned, he said, We will talk after of your reward, Gian Hen Gian. Then he took Jewel by the hand and led her to his bedchamber.I matt-up a strength return to me the moment I presented Jewel to the king. I was not free to escape, but for the first time I was able to leave the city without being compelled by some invisible bond to return to Solomon. I went into the desert and spent the night enjoying the freedom I had gained. It was not until I returned the adjoining morning that I realized that Solomons control over me and the demon depended upon the concentration of his will, as well as the invocations and the seal given to him by Jehovah. The woman, Jewel, had broken his will.I found Solomon in his palace weeping one moment, then screaming with rage the next. While I had been away Catch had come to Solomons bedchamber, not in the form that Solomon recognized, but in the form of a considerable monster, taller than two men and as wide as a team of horses, and the slaves could see him as well. While Solomon watched in horror, the demon snatched Jewel from the bed with a unity, talonlike hand and bit her head off. Then the monster swallowed the girls body and reached for Solomon. But some force protected the king, and Solomon commanded the demon to return to his small form. Catch laughed in his face and skulked off to the wives quarters.Through the night the palace was filled with the screams of terrified women. Solomon ordered his guards to attack the demo n. Catch swatted them away as if they were flies. By penetrate the palace was littered with the crushed bodies of the guards. Of Solomons universal gravitational constant wives only two hundred remained alive. Catch was gone.During the attack Solomon had called upon the power of the seal and prayed to Jehovah to stop the demon. But the kings will was broken, and so it did no good.I sensed then that I might escape Solomons control altogether, and live free, but even the retard king would eventually make the association and my fate would lie in the netherworld.I bade Solomon allow me to bring Catch to conscionableice. I knew my power to be much greater than the demons. But Solomon had only the building of the temple by which to judge my powers, and in that example the demon appeared superior. Do what you tail assembly, he said. If you capture the demon, you may remain on Earth.I found Catch in the great desert, wantonly slaughtering tribes of nomads. When I demarcation him with my magic, he protested that he had planned to return, for he was enslaved to Solomon by the invocation and could neer really escape. He was only having a little sport with the humans, he said. To quiet him, I filled his mouth with sand for the trip back to Jerusalem.When I brought Catch to Solomon, the king commanded me to devise a punishment to gravel the demon, so that the people of Jerusalem might watch him suffer. I chained Catch to a giant stone outside the palace, then I created a huge bird of prey that swooped on the demon and tore at his liver, which grew back at once, for like the Djinn, the demon was immortal.Solomon was pleased with my work. During my absence seizure he had regained his senses somewhat, and thereby his will. I stood before the king awaiting my reward, feeling my powers wane as Solomons will returned.I have promised that you shall never be returned to the netherworld, and you shall not, he said. But this demon has put me off of immortals more than some what, and I do not wish that you be allowed to roam free. You shall be intent in a jar and cast into the sea. Should the time come when you are set free to walk the Earth again, you shall have no power over the realm of man except as is commanded by my will, which shall be from now to the end of time the grace of God of all men. By this you shall be bound.He had a jar fashioned from premise and marked it on all sides with a silver seal. Before he imprisoned me, Solomon promised that Catch would remain chained to the stimulate until his screams burned into the kings soul so that Solomon might never lose his will or his wisdom again. He said he would then send the demon back to hell and destroy the tablets with the invocations, as well as the great seal. He swore these things to me, as if he believed the fate of the demon meant something to me. I didnt give a camels fart close to Catch. Then he gave me a blend command and sealed the jar. His soldiers cast the jar into the Red Sea.For two thousand years I languished inside the jar, my only comfort a trickle of seawater that seeped in, which I drank with relish, for it tasted of freedom.When the jar was finally pulled from the sea by a fisherman, and I was released, I cared nothing about Solomon or Catch, only about my freedom. I have lived as a man would live these last thousand years, bound by Solomons will. Of this Solomon spoke truly, but about the demon, he lied.The little man paused and refilled his cup in the ocean. Augustus Brine was at a loss. It couldnt possibly be true. There was nothing to corroborate the story.Begging your pardon, Gian Hen Gian, but why is none of this told in the Bible?Editing, the Djinn said.But arent you confusing Greek myth with Christian myth? The birds take the demons liver sounds an awful lot like the story of Prometheus.It was my idea. The Greeks were thieves, no better than Solomon.Brine considered this for a moment. He was seeing tell apart of the supernatural, w asnt he? Wasnt this little Arab drinking seawater as he watched, with no unmingled ill effects? And even if some of it could be explained by hallucination, he was even turn overly sure that he hadnt been the only one to see the strange blue swirls in the store this morning. What if for a moment just a moment he took the Arabs extortionate story for the truth?If this is true, then how do you know, after all this time, that Solomon lied to you? And why tell me about it?Because, Augustus Brine, I knew you would believe. And I know Solomon lied because I can feel the presence of the demon, Catch. And Im sure that he has come to Pine Cove.Swell, Brine said. 7ARRIVALVirgil Long backed out from under the hood of the Impala, wiped his hands on his coveralls, and scratched at his four-day growth of beard. He reminded Travis of a fat weasel with the mange.So youre count oning its the radiator? Virgil asked.Its the radiator, Travis said.It might be the whole engine is gone. You were run pretty quiet when you drove in. Not a good sign. Do you have a charge card?Virgil was unexampled in his inability to diagnose item engine businesss. When he was dealing with tourists, his scheme was usually to start replacing things and halt replacing them until he solved the problem or reached the limit on the customers commendation card, whichever came first.It wasnt running at all when I came in, Travis protested. And I dont have a character reference card. Its the radiator, I promise.Now, son, Virgil drawled, I know you hypothesize you know what youre talking about, but I got a certificate from the Ford factory there on the wall that says Im a master mechanic. Virgil pointed a fat figure toward the service stations office. One wall was cover with framed certificates along with a bill of a nude woman sitting on the hood of a Corvette buffing her privy parts with a scarf in order to sell motor oil. Virgil had purchased the overtop Mechanic certificates from an ou tfit in new-sprung(prenominal) Hampshire two for five dollars, six for ten dollars, fifteen for twenty. He had gone for the twenty-dollar package. Those who took the time to read the certificates were somewhat surprised to find out that Pine Coves only service station and car wash had its own factory-certified snowmobile mechanic. It had never snowed in Pine Cove.This is a Chevy, Travis said.Got a certificate for those, too. You belike need new rings. The radiators just a symptom, like these broken headlights. You treat the symptom, the complaint just gets worse. Virgil had hear that on a doctor show once and care the sound of it.What will it cost to just fix the radiator?Virgil stared deep into the smear spots on the garage floor, as if by reading their patterns and by some enigmatical mode of divination, petrolmancy perhaps, he would arrive at a price that would not give oneself up the drab immature man but would still assure him an exorbitant periodical rate for his la bor.Hundred bucks. It had a prissy round ring to it.Fine, Travis said, Fix it. When can I have it back?Virgil consulted the grease spots again, then emerged with a good-ol-boy smile. Hows midday sound?Fine, Travis said. Is there a kitten hall around here and somewhere I can get some breakfast?No pool hall. The point in time of the Slug is open down the street. They got a couple of tables.And breakfast?Only thing open this end of town is H.P.s, a block off Cypress, down from the Slug. But its a locals joint.Is there a problem getting served?No. The menu might throw you for a bit. It well, youll see.Travis thanked the mechanic and started off in the direction of H.P.s, the demon hide along behind him. As they passed the self-serve car-wash stalls, Travis detect a tall man of about thirty unloading plastic washing baskets full of dirty dishes from the bed of an old Ford pickup. He seemed to be having trouble getting quarters to go into the specie box.Looking at him, Travis said You know, Catch, Ill bet theres a lot of incest in this town. belike the only entertainment, the demon agreed.The man in the car wash had activated the aggressive nozzle and was sweeping it back and forth across the baskets of dishes. With each sweep he repeated, Nobody lives like this. Nobody.Some of the overspray caught on the wind and settled over Travis and Catch. For a moment the demon became visible in the spray. Im melt-ing, Catch whined in perfect ill-scented Witch of the West pitch.Lets go, Travis said, moving quickly to avoid more spray. We need a hundred bucks before noon.JENNY In the two hours since jenny Masterson had arrived at the cafe she had managed to drop a tray full of glasses, liquefy up the orders on three tables, fill the saltshakers with sugar and the sugar dispensers with salt, and pour hot coffee on the hands of two customers who had covered their cups to indicate that theyd had enough a patently stupid gesture on their part, she thought. The scourge of it was not that she normally performed her duties flawlessly, which she did. The worst of it was that everyone was so damned under stand about it.Youre going through a rough time, honey, its okay.Divorce is always hard.Their consolations ranged from too bad you couldnt work it out to he was a worthless drunk anyway, youre better off without him.Shed been separated from Robert exactly four days and everybody in Pine Cove knew about it. And they couldnt just let it lie. Why didnt they let her go through the process without running this supply gauntlet of good-will? It was as if she had a big red D fasten to her clothing, a signal to the townsfolk to close around her like a athirst(p) amoeba.When the second tray of glasses hit the floor, she stood amid the shards assay to catch her breath and could not. She had to do something scream, cry, pass out but she just stood there, paralyzed, while the busboy cleaned up the glass.Two in straitened circumstances(p) hands disagreeable on her shoulders. She heard a voice in her ear that seemed to come from very far away. You are having an anxiety attack, dear. It shall pass. Relax and breathe deeply. She snarl the hands gently leading her through the kitchen door to the office in the back. turn on down and put your head between your knees. She let herself be guided into a chair. Her mind went white, and her breath caught in her throat. A bony hand rubbed her back.Breathe, Jennifer. Ill not have you shuffling off this mortal lock in the middle of the breakfast shift.In a moment her head well-defined and she looked up to see Howard Phillips, the owner of H.P.s, standing over her.He was a tall, adenoidal man, who always wore a black suit and button shoes that had been fashionable a hundred years ago. Except for the dark depressions on his cheeks, Howards skin was as white as a carrion worm. Robert had once said that H.P. looked like the master of ceremonies at a chemotherapy funfest.Howard had been born and raised in Maine, yet when he spoke, he affected the mark of an erudite Londoner. The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear. It is not, however, appropriate to pay fearful prow to that beast by cowering in the ruins of my stemware while you have orders up.Im sorry, Howard. Robert called this morning. He sounded so helpless, pathetic.A tragedy, to be sure. Yet as we sit, ensconced in our grief, two perfectly healthy free-and-easy specials languish under the heat lamps metamorphosing into gelatinlike invitations to botulism. jenny ass was relieved that in his own, cryptically charming way, Howard was not giving her sympathy but telling her to get off her ass and live her life. I think Im okay now. Thanks, Howard. jenny ass stood and wiped her eyes with a paper napkin she took from her apron. Then she went off to deliver her orders. Howard, having exhausted his compassion for the day, closed the door of his office and began working on the books.When jenny ass returned to the floor, she found that the restaurant had clear-cut except for a few regular(a) customers and a dark young man she didnt recognize, who was standing by the PLEASE clutches TO BE SEATED sign. At least(prenominal) he wouldnt ask about Robert, thank God. It was a welcome relief.Not many tourists found H.P.s. It was tucked in a tree-lined cul-de-sac off Cypress Street in a remodeled Victorian bungalow. The sign outside, small and tasteful, simply read, CAFE. Howard did not believe in advertising, and though he was an Anglophile at heart loving all things British and feeling that they were someways superior to their American counterparts his restaurant displayed none of the ersatz British decor that might draw in the tourists. The cafe served simple food at fair prices. If the menu exhi snatchd Howard Phillipss eccentricity in style, it did not discourage the locals from eating at his place. abutting to Brines Bait, Tackle, and Fine Wines, H.P.s Cafe had the mos t trustworthy clientele in Pine Cove. ingest or nonsmoking? Jenny asked the young man. He was very good-looking, but Jenny sight this only in passing. She was conditioned by years of monogamy not to tolerate on such things.Nonsmoking, he said.Jenny led him to a table in the back. Before he sat down, he pulled out the chair across from him, as if he were going to put his feet up. allow for someone be joining you? Jenny asked, handing him a menu. He looked up at her as if he were seeing her for the first time. He stared into her eyes without saying a word.Embarrassed, Jenny looked down. Todays special is Eggs-Sothoth a fiendishly toothsome amalgamation of scrumptious ingredients so delicious that the mere description of the toothsome gestalt could drive one mad, she said.Youre intercommunicate?No. The owner insists that we memorize the daily specials verbatim.The dark man kept staring at her. What does all that mean? he asked. locomote eggs with ham and cheese and a side of t oast.Why didnt you just say that?The owner is a little eccentric. He believes that his daily specials may be the only thing keeping the Old Ones at bay.The Old Ones?Jenny sighed. The nice thing about regular customers is she didnt have to keep explaining Howards weird menu to them. This guy was obviously from out of town. But why did he have to keep staring at her like that?Its his religion or something. He believes that the world was once populated by other race. He calls them the Old Ones. For some reason they were banished from Earth, but he believes that they are trying to return and take over.Youre joking?Stop saying that. Im not joking.Im sorry. He looked at the menu. Okay, give me an Eggs-Sothoth with a side order of The Spuds of Madness.Would you like coffee?That would be great.Jenny wrote out the ticket and turned to put the order in at the kitchen window.Excuse me, the man said.Jenny turned in midstep. Yes?You have incredible eyes.Thanks. She felt herself blush as she hea ded off to get his coffee. She wasnt ready for this. She needed some sort of break between being get hitched with and being divorced. Divorce leave? They had gestation leave, didnt they?When she returned with his coffee, she looked at him for the first time as a superstar woman might. He was handsome, in a sharp, dark sort of way. He looked younger than she was, twenty-three, maybe twenty-four. She was study his clothes and trying to get a feel for what he did for a living when she ran into the chair he had pushed out from the table and spilled most of the coffee into the disc.God, Im sorry.Its okay, he said. Are you having a bad day?acquiring worse by the minute. Ill get you another cup.No, he raised a hand in protest. Its fine. He took the cup and saucer from her, separated them, and poured the coffee back into the cup. See, good as new. I dont want to add to your bad day.He was staring again.No, youre fine. I mean, Im fine. Thanks. She felt like a geek. She cursed Robert for causing all this. If he hadnt No, it wasnt Roberts fault. Shed made the decision to end the marriage.Im Travis. The man extended his hand. She took it, tentatively.Jennifer- She was about to tell him that she was married and that he was nice and all. Im not married, she said. She immediately wanted to disappear into the kitchen and never come back.Me either, Travis said. Im new in town. He didnt seem to notice how awkward she was. Look, Jennifer, Im looking for an address and I wonder if you could tell me how to find it? Do you know how to get to Cheshire Street?Jenny was relieved to be talking about anything but herself. She rattled off a series of streets and turns, landmarks and signs, that would lead Travis to Cheshire Street. When she finished, he just looked at her quizzically.Ill draw you a map, she said. She took a pen from her apron, bent over the table, and began displace on a napkin.Their faces were inches apart. Youre very beautiful, he said.She looked at him. She didn t know whether to smile or scream. Not yet, she thought. Im not ready.He didnt wait for her to respond. You remind me of someone I used to know.Thank you She tried to remember his name. Travis.Have dinner with me tonight?She searched for an excuse. None came. She couldnt use the one she had used for a ten dollar bill it wasnt true anymore. And she hadnt been alone long enough to brush up on some new lies. In fact, she felt that she was somehow being unfaithful to Robert just by talking to this guy. But she was a single woman. Finally she wrote her phone number under the map on the napkin and handed it to him.My numbers on the bottom. Why dont you call me tonight, around five, and well take it from there, okay?Travis folded the napkin and put it in his shirt pocket. Until tonight, he said.Oh, trim me a gravely voice said. Jenny turned toward the voice, but there was only the empty chair.To Travis she said, Did you hear that?Hear what? Travis glared at the empty chair.Nothing, Je nny said, Im starting to go over the edge, I think.Relax, Travis said. I wont bite you. He shot a shine at the chair.Your order is up. Ill be right back.She retrieved the food from the window and delivered it to Travis. While he ate, she stood behind the counter separating coffee filters for the eat shift, occasionally looking up and cheerful at the dark, young man, who paused between bites and smiled back.She was fine, just fine. She was a single woman and could do any damned thing she wanted to. She could go out with anyone she wanted to. She was young and attractive and she had just made her first date in ten years sort of.Over all of her affirmations her fears flew up and perched like a murder of crows. It occurred to her that she didnt have the slightest idea what she was going to wear. The freedom of single life had suddenly become a burden, a mixed blessing, herpes on the popes ring. Maybe she wouldnt answer the phone when he called.Travis finished eating and paid his b ill, loss her far too large a tip.See you tonight, he said.You bet. She smiled.She watched him walk across the parking lot. He seemed to be talking to someone as he walked. probably just singing. Guys did that right after they made a date, didnt they? Maybe he was just a whacko?For the hundredth time that morning she resisted the urge to call Robert and tell him to come home.